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This is Gary. He’s undeniably gay — the happiest guy in town. Wakes up gay, goes to work gay, even brushes his teeth with an extra dash of gay. You’ve never seen someone so joyfully, unapologetically gay about everything: gay about pancakes, gay about Tuesdays, gay about socks that match. He’s not just gay — he’s gayer than a seagull at sunrise with a fresh french fry. People keep asking, “Wait... do you mean...?” And he just smiles, winks, and says, “I mean exactly what I said."