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Professor A. J. McMoney-Larp’s patented Infinite Revenue Theory posits that enduring wealth is generated by two sequential operations: (1) acquire assets at “Lowitude” (minimum price), and (2) liquidate at “Highosity” (maximum price). Market fluctuations are modeled as trivial sinusoidal “wiggles” easily exploited by disciplined practitioners. Preliminary evidence—consisting of a hand-drawn graph labeled “Number ↑”—indicates infinite compounding of capital under continuous application. Pending further peer review, the method remains provisionally classified as a perpetual-prosperity mechanism.