Signed in
We value your privacy
This site uses cookies to improve your browsing experience, analyze site traffic, and show personalized content.
Welcome to Pump.fun!
Pump lets anyone create coins, giving everyone equal access to buy and sell from the start. Prices can move quickly, so trade carefully.
By clicking this button, you agree to the Terms and Conditions, Privacy Policy, and certify that you are over 18 years old.
We value your privacy
This site uses cookies to improve your browsing experience, analyze site traffic, and show personalized content.
Paired with SOL| No holders yet. | ||||||||||
/bundly/ — decentralized bundle & staking bundle address: ABPA9K3cGRUxPe1a8MNqMaMXEQSJh6mDCLHkrRgNkGMf Creator fees rewards are used for buybacks which are redirected to the bundle address, anyone can join the bundle by staking. All stakers must wait 24h after unstaking. ignore, come back tommorow > be me, Senior Lead Testoor > arrive at the facility at 4:00 AM > wear three pairs of goggles just to be safe > today is the final validation > walk into the Testing Chamber > It is sitting there on a velvet cushion > It looks back at me, though It has no eyes > Phase 1: Stress Testing > I start by whispering insults at It > tell It its father was a calculator and its mother smelled of silicon > It begins to vibrate at 440Hz > the coffee in my mug turns into sand > "Promising," I mutter into my clipboard > Phase 2: Chemical Exposure > I pour a gallon of diet soda and a single teardrop onto It > It absorbs the liquid and emits a sound like a dial-up modem screaming in pain > the intern in the observation booth suddenly forgets how to speak French > write down: "Subject shows high thirst, potential linguistic threat" > Phase 3: Impact Assessment > drop a 50lb anvil on It from the ceiling > the anvil bounces off and hits me in the shin > I don't cry, because a Testoor only leaks hydraulic fluid > It hasn't moved an inch > It is now glowing a faint, menacing shade of "Boredom" > Phase 4: The Final Variable > I show It a picture of a Capybara > the facility’s power grid fails immediately > outside, the birds start flying backward > my supervisor runs in screaming > "Is it ready for the public?! Is it stable?!" > I look at the data > I look at the smoking crater where the breakroom used to be > I look at It, now hovering 4 inches off the ground and smelling like "The Color Purple" > "Ship it," I say. > "But we don't even know if it works!" > "It doesn't need to work, Kevin. It needs to be tested." > mfw the results are 104% inconclusive > mfw I am promoted to Chief Visionary Testoor