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Thanksgiving leftovers are the culinary equivalent of a one-night stand you keep texting for weeks. Sure, the turkey might be dry, the stuffing might look like it’s been to war, and the cranberry sauce is still pretending it’s more than just Jell-O with delusions of grandeur, but when you slap it all between two slices of bread at midnight, it’s pure ecstasy. It's messy, it’s wrong, and nobody’s judging if gravy ends up places it shouldn’t. Forget romance—cold mashed potatoes eaten straight from the Tupperware with your fingers? That’s the kind of intimacy only Thanksgiving can deliver.