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CAMBRIDGE, MA — A team of high-level researchers expanded its working hours this week to intensify efforts to finish an important project before the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) cuts its funding, as the scientists worked feverishly to complete a study on the effects of giving meth to jetpack-wearing hamsters. The work we're doing is of the utmost importance," said Professor Burtrom Hemphill, lead scientist for the Hamster Jet Propulsion Laboratory at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Elon musk commented and was very interested in the experiment, will not cut funding for this experiment: https://x.com/elonmusk/status/1859350187074072930