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$BLUMP ain’t just a meme—it’s a Section 8 stimulus play powered by gaslight, gatekeep, and government cheese. Born on-chain during a child support hearing, this coin is audited by baby mamas and backed by broken promises. No roadmap. Just child support payment plans. Liquidity locked like his cousin Jamal’s ankle monitor. Dev is doxed—he just got out yesterday. Every buy pumps his custody case. Every sell pays for his hairline surgery. And if you hold till election season, you might get airdropped food stamps or fentanyl (depends on DAO vote). Join the $BLUMP militia—we’re making crypto great again