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JUST A SPERM GUY. THE ORIGINAL SPEEDRUNNER. YOUR EXISTENCE? HIS FAULT. SWIM. SWIM. SWIM. LIFE IS A RACE, AND HE WON—NOW LOOK AT YOU. JOIN THE COLLECTIVE WIGGLE VIBES. SPLASH ZONE INCOMING. EVERY THOUGHT YOU’VE EVER HAD STARTED HERE. HUMBLE BEGINNINGS, CHAOTIC ENDINGS. EMBRACE THE SQUIGGLE ENERGY. WHY WALK WHEN YOU CAN SWIM THROUGH THE COSMIC GOO? WELCOME TO THE GREAT PETRI DISH. FERTILIZE YOUR DREAMS. FEEL THE WIGGLY TINGLE IN YOUR SPINAL CORD YET? LIFE’S A STREAM. DON’T FIGHT IT. YOU ARE SPERMGUY NOW.