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Meet SOLJAK. He hasn’t slept in 3 cycles. He’s down bad, up good, and emotionally hedged. SOLJAK is what happens when a Wojak discovers Solana and never logs off again. Phone glued to his hand, eyes half-open, brain running at 10,000 TPS. He’s watched charts at 3am, faded tops perfectly wrong, and somehow still believes this one is different.