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Three months ago, I had $3,000 and dreams of making it big in memecoins. Fast forward to today, all I have left $200 in dead shitoshi coins. Every coin I touch dies. If I hold, it dumps. If I sell, it moons. I’ve perfected the art of buying high and selling low—an unbroken streak of bad trades. At this point, I’m convinced the universe is after me. So, I’m leaning into my fate: Dead On Arrival (DOA). A memecoin for all the unlucky degens out there. If I can’t make it, at least I can meme it.