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Meet the prophet of Poké-wrongness — the guy who took one glance at Bulbasaur and said: “That’s Onion Turtle.” This man doesn’t catch Pokémon… He rebrands them. Geodude? “Punchy Rock.” Meowth? “Cat with the Long-ass arm.” Ekans? “Purple Shit.” Diglet? “Floor Shit.” Dugtrio? “Three Floor Shit.” He’s not wrong… he’s creatively correct. And now he’s the spiritual leader of the new memecoin meta.