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Why the fuck are people obsessively purchasing all these retarded toys from Pop Mart? Girls be hanging them on their purses like a fucking Christmas tree ornament flexing toys for toddlers. Like what the hell is this shit? Grown ass adults dropping stacks of cash on plastic bobblehead bullshit that looks like it was shat out by a drunk cartoonist on fucking LSD. You got these tiny ass bug eyed pastel colored monstrosities dangling off every goddamn handbag, keychain, and rearview mirror like some kind of deranged status symbol. It’s like a whose dick hangs lower competition for sluts. Whos out here thinking “yeah this $50 chunk of vinyl shaped like a constipated unicorn is my personality now??” Its like a cult for people who hate money and love hoarding useless shit. Dont get me started on the blind boxes… fucking gambling for glittery trash. Youre not unboxing joy you’re unboxing a midlife crisis wrapped in bubble wrap. These Pop Mart freaks are out here trading their rent money for a 2 inch tall knockoff Pikachu ripoff with a fucking lazy eye acting like its fine art. How about you take that money and blow it on a god damn shit coin like the rest of us normal people for christ fucking sake. Meanwhile these whores purses look like a goddamn pinata exploded and theyre strutting around like they invented cool. I thought i was brain dead but this is some autistic glue sniffing down syndrome inbred cousin fucker nonsense and yet I can’t stop seeing these sparkly turd trophies everywhere. Whats next bedazzling their toasters with these fuckers? We are all fucked now get down to your local Poop Mart and pick yourself up a Ladoodoo so you can fit in with your shitty fucking friends.
