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It all started with one reckless transaction. One moon mission. One degenerate who thought $300 gas fees were just “the cost of greatness.” He loaded up on ETH, hit “Confirm,” and ascended straight past L2 straight into legend. Now he floats in orbit, his suit soaked in gas fumes, staring at the ethgas.com dashboard like it’s a divine prophecy. He’s seen the airdrop coming but the signal can’t reach him up here. So he’s waiting. Meditating. High off Gwei. Forever.