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Listen up, parasites of digital capitalism! I present to you the most ridiculously brilliant revolution ever vomited up by the multiverse: the MORTY Token. Yes, you heard right, M-O-R-T-Y. And what the hell is that? Fragments. Actual fragments of Morty's consciousness, distilled across thousands of timelines where the poor bastard breaks down emotionally, philosophically... even existentially. Why would you want one? Because this isn't an 8-bit picture of a cat, or a rip-off of some interdimensional lizard. This is authentic youthful suffering encapsulated in cryptographic blocks! Each token comes with a dash of fear, confusion, and adolescent existentialism. Basically, it's like having a piece of 'I didn't ask to be born, Rick' in your virtual wallet. Value? Incalculable. Utility? Zero. Potential to make you feel morally filthy and ridiculously rich at the same time? Infinity. So if you have a soul, sell it. If you don't, buy one with MORTY. It's like investing in childhood trauma with compound interest! And remember: it's not exploitation if it's multiversal and on the blockchain. Wubba lubba dub dub, idiots!