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BREAKING: shortly after his 25 year prison sentence was confirmed, Samantha Bankwoman-Fried (formerly Sam Bankman-Fried) announced to the world that he would be transitioning into a woman. In a surprising turn of events, Samantha was transferred to an all women’s facility and became an overnight sensation in the fashion world, renowned for her exquisite taste in orange jumpsuits, claiming “orange is the new black”.