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This morning, I set out on a noble quest: to make toast for breakfast. But destiny had other plans. As the bread popped up, there it was, the holy pump pill, seared into the surface like a divine autograph. Suddenly, it wasn’t just toast; it was a revelation. The stars aligned, my chakras unblocked, and for the first time I felt pure enlightenment. Life was beautiful… and slightly crunchy. $toast