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Legend says ZellyFlop was forged when Zelensky tripped over a NATO red carpet, landed in a vat of glow-in-the-dark paint, and screamed, “THIS IS FINE!” The mascot? A neon-orange Zelensky with a mullet, riding a unicycle made of broken promises, juggling Molotov cocktails labeled “Aid Plz.” His catchphrase? “Send F-16s or I’ll hold my breath till I turn blue (neon blue, bitches)!