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GLONK is a sleep-deprived goblin born deep in the crypto trenches. Fueled by energy drinks, bad decisions, and pure delusion, he spends every waking hour chasing the next 1000x pump. He buys tops. He sells bottoms. He never learns. GLONK represents every chaotic trader who survives on memes, hopium, and zero risk management. A true creature of the internet — ugly, loud, and impossible to ignore.